Women’s Cycle and Intimate Relationships

Women’s Cycle and Intimate Relationships

A women’s cycle in average is 27-31 days. During this short time, a whole world exists in a woman’s body, mind and spirit. A world of ups and downs, of physical and emotional pain on certain days, of feeling at pick and few days after feeling low, hormonal changes, changes in the skin, in thoughts, in perspective, sensitivity or over sensitivity and you can add to this list.

At this modern time when technology is such a big part of our lives, long work hours, birth control pills and a life style that encourages us all to be superwomen (which anyways we are or at least have the potential to be, by nature but that’s another topic), and unfortunately often ignore our internal monthly cycle.  In this article I would like to elaborate about each phase of the cycle and the opportunities that come with it, how it can empower us, make us stronger, healthier and have better relationships with our partners. This wisdom is thousands of years old, I did not make up any of this.

There are 4 different phases in one cycle. Each phase has unique “treasures” for us. All we need to do is to listen to our body and emotions, don’t go against them, embrace the fact we are not so linear as women, and as I’ve mentioned in my last blog, the more aligned we are with nature, and in this case our body, the better and healthy we are.

Phase 1

Days 1-5 (in average): Menstruation

Your body discards the monthly buildup of the lining of your uterus. Menstrual blood and tissue flow from your uterus through the small opening in your cervix and pass out through the vagina. Hormones levels are low. Low levels of estrogen can make you feel depressed and irritated. I wouldn’t want to focus on the physical aspect of the period, I do want you to acknowledge how amazing our body is, and even embrace those 5 days, and I will explain: in Chinese Medicine, the name for menstruation is “The Sky’s Dew’, or “The Dew from The Heavens”, this gives us a hint about those powerful days. This is a time for each woman to embrace her own sacred temple which is her body, and what is happening in her body. Those 5 days are great for introspection, as well as for renewal of ourselves. In the same way the body is getting rid of tissues and blood, we can get rid of old ideas, look inside, and as opposed to physically being intimate with our partner, develop a new closeness and a new level of intimacy by verbal communication, speak our minds, get to know each other without any “happy ending” (I will get to the why in a minute). When you start following it, you may notice that in those days some issues may come up, issues that were buried before, and there’s no better time to deal with them then now.

Phase 2

Days 5-11 (approximately) follicular phase (pre-ovulation)

One of the follicles becomes dominant and begins to produce more and more estrogen. This causes the uterine lining to thicken and cervical fluid to increase.

This phase is great for vigorous exercise, manifest your ideas, and feeling excited about life again… you may notice your skin is looking brighter and smoother, you may also feel creative, passionate, strong and ambitious. As your body is preparing for the pick of the cycle which is the ovulation, this is the time to set the intention, whatever the intention is (planning to conceive, planning to not conceive etc.). As shocking as this may sound, at this phase we are still not physically intimate with our partner as it takes the cervix approximately 12 days to completely close. I’ve read researchers that showed that the chances of getting a cervical cancer in women who refrained from sex in the first 12 days of the cycle are significant lower. Mother Nature is genius did I mention that already?

As always, biological logic and facts go together with a spiritual explanation. like Body and mind, like a horse and a carriage. The benefits of restricting from having sex 12 days out of a month are the following:

  • You build a new desire and attraction for yourself by your partner, you’re not taken for granted.
  • You’re not always available for him, you’re only available when your cycle allows it.
  • You build the energy and strength within yourself before you can offer your body and self to someone else. We cannot give what we don’t have. If we do, we will feel depleted and frustrated without really knowing why. These can be very settled nuances, and may cause some health issues in the future.
  • Your body needs a break, especially in the first phase, and you’re respecting those needs- you will simply gain health and balance in areas in your life that you’re not even aware of.
  • Sex is the physical manifestation of a strong bond and union between 2 people. It’s the highest form of energy. Sex can create or destroy life. If you look at it and treat it as a spiritual force- your actual pleasure will become greater as time goes by.
  • You’re maintaining the “fire” and excitement in the relationship and guaranty it will last for a long time.

Instead of being physical, find other ways to be intimate with your partner: go out, have a nice dinner, cook together, study something, spend family time with the kids, find a mutual interest.

In my opinion, the advantages are grater that the disadvantages. You are the driver of your life though, you decide what’s right for you. I know many women who enjoy this life style, and I also know many others that are not.  These is a just a suggestion for a different approach.

Phase 3

Days 12-16 (approximately- changes from one woman to another):

LH hormone surges, triggering the release of the egg from the dominant follicle. Fertile cervical mucus (sometimes having an “egg-white” consistency) increases, and the cervix is open.

Best time for conception. you may feel you’re very attractive and more noticeable, your immune system is good, even your smell can change for the better. Your creativity and ideas are at the pick, you want to smile at the world and the world is smiling back at you. You may feel some physical signals from your own body like small sharp pains in one of the ovaries, or tender breasts.

Phase 4

Days 16-28 (approximately)

The corpus luteum (the “shell” of the dominant follicle from which the egg was released) begins to secrete progesterone, further changing the uterine lining and causing your body temperature to be consistently higher. The egg travels down the fallopian tube into the uterus. If the egg has been fertilized, implantation occurs.

If implantation didn’t happen, your body is getting ready for phase 1, the progesterone levels are decreasing. Many women are experiencing PMS premenstrual syndrome, symptoms can go from crumps or dull pain in the lower back area, tender and sensitive breasts, over sensitivity, acne (due to the hormonal change), feeling bloated, craving for carbs, anger, irritability, agitation, sadness, not feeling social and on. Whatever comes up- honor it. These may be an exaggeration of some issues or concerns that exist inside of you. Remember phase 1 and 2 are great times to look inside, have some quality time with yourself and loved ones, Phases 3 and 4 are times for manifestation.

As always, feel free to contact me for any question or matter. I am here.

All my love,



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